paserbyp

Rules for being Russian:

* Wear Armani Exchange.

* Drive a Mercedes or BMW.

* When talking to Russian friends, make sure to speak mostly
English but then add random Russian words into the middle of your
sentences. Something like "Can you pass the kartoshka?

* Get a Bally Total Fitness membership just to use the steam
room.

* Know at least 10 people named "Sasha". Male or female.

* Get a new cellphone at least once every 6 months

* Never spend more than $50 on sneakers.

* Have a $50 bottle of cologne with you at any moment.

* Never buy anything costing more than $1000 from a non-Russian.

* Make sure your job somehow involves computer programming,
unless you are in medicine.

* Order the same exact meal every time you order Chinese
takeout.

* Make sure that you have been to Niagara Falls on a Russian
tour bus at least 5 times.

* Meet with your grandparents at least once a week.

* You MUST have been to Brighton beach.

* When having guests over for a meal, put every food item you
own out on the table

* You come home at 3am and your parents are still out/in partying

a)when you go on a long trip somewhere, everyone has to sit
down for a few minutes or else you will have bad luck.

b)cant open umbrellas in the house or whistle in the house

c)you shouldn't talk about something good happening before it
does. You cant buy baby stuff before the baby is born, that's bad luck.

* People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal
on something...and you can

* You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

* The first question your parents ask about a new girl you're
dating is whether she is Jewish or not.

* You must wear tapki at your house, and must keep extra pairs
for guests.

* your grandparents have rugs on their walls.